


The Kiel Gnomenfoot Show

by Lanihaluki



Category: Story Thieves Series - James Riley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanihaluki/pseuds/Lanihaluki
Summary: The one shot you never thought you needed of Kiel as a chef ;)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	The Kiel Gnomenfoot Show

Kiel Gnomenfoot was not your ordinary twelve-year old boy. In fact, he was extraordinary, and he did what no one else his age had before: he started his own cooking show. 

At first, this turned out terrifying, both for his friends and the viewers that happened to watch his show. Kiel's first video was him trying to cut an apple, which somehow resulted in the kitchen getting burnt down. No one knew how that had happened. 

He liked to think that he was much more experienced now. He was five months into his new career, and a TV show company had reached out to him, saying that they'd broadcast his cooking shows live to the entire world. While his friends were less enthusiastic about this, Kiel was optimistic. If this company had decided to help his career along, that meant he was an amazing cook! He was an inspiration to everyone around him! Kiel Gnomenfoot, boy cook. That had a nice ring to it!

"Get into the kitchen, now!" Charm bellowed from the other room. She was Kiel's manager. She wasn't very nice at all, choosing to boss him around and yell at him instead of laughing over one of his jokes. But at least she seemed to appreciate Kiel's cooking, which was a plus.

Kiel hurried over to the kitchen, where there are already a bunch of cameras set up. Every time he saw it, he was always shocked to see that it was sparkly clean. Everything shone, from the floors to the cabinets to even the counters. It came as a surprise, because he normally ended up burning something every time he cooked, which always scorched the room. 

He was too amazing for the agency to kick him off the show, though, so he continued burning food and getting away with it without a problem. He suspected that Charm was ready to murder him every time he did that, so he made sure to avoid her at all costs during the hours following the burning incidents. So far, he hadn't gotten into too much trouble because of it. Probably because he was awesome.

"You have one minute," Charm warned, her arms crossed as she watched him enter the room.

"I have more than enough time," he said, stepping behind the counter and quickly rearranging the items that were on it. Today, he'd be making grilled cheese. 

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" the guy behind the camera said, counting down the time before they went live. 

Kiel immediately winked at the camera, just like he always did. "Hello! I am Kiel Gnomenfoot, a blessing to this earth. Today, I'll be making something called 'grilled cheese'. But this isn't just any regular grilled cheese. It's special, because it'll be made by me!" 

As he said the last part, he saw Charm roll her eyes from across the room. He grinned, then retrieved a plastic bag that covered a loaf of bread. He ripped it open and placed the loaf on a cutting board. Just for extra effect, he winked again at the cameras before taking out his wand-knives. 

"Now for this part of the process, you should probably use an actual knife," he said, pointing his own wand-knife at the bread. "Unless you're me, who is too cool to use one. I use my wand-knives."

With that, he brought the wand-knife down and cut a slice of the bread off, struggling a bit since it wasn't really working. Finally, a single slice came off, and he moved onto the next one. Wand-knives weren't the greatest for slicing things like bread. He knew he should've just used a normal knife.

Once he cut another piece off, he took the two slices of bread and placed them side by side on a tray. "Okay, so here's the fun part. Since you're adding cheese, you can pour as much as you want onto it. Pour a whole gallon of it if you have to. The more cheese, the better. When you're eating this, I want you to turn lactose intolerant from the amount of cheese you're eating. Not really. I'm joking! But yeah, just add a lot of cheese." 

To demonstrate, he grabbed a huge chunk of cheese — as big as his hand — and placed it right on top of the bread, crushing it a little bit in the process. He flashed a wink back to the camera before placing the tray in the oven. "Now you want to melt this cheese, so it'll be all over the bread. Like I said before, the more cheese the better!" 

He slammed the oven door shut. "To save time, you can cook this at 4,000 degrees for two seconds! That way, you won't have to wait so long if you're hungry!"

He pressed a button, turning the heater on. What happened next was an impossibly bright light, along with the sensation of Kiel's skin being prickled. He jumped away as the grilled cheese caught on fire, setting fire to the rest of the oven as well. 

He turned back to the cameras with a grin, internally hoping that the fire wouldn't spread to the rest of the kitchen. "Are you getting this? See how efficient this method is?" A timer dinged, and he blinked. "Oh, right! It's been ten seconds already. I forgot to set the clock to two seconds." 

He quickly grabbed a bucket that was already filled with water, then tossed it straight at the oven. The oven sizzled, but the fire died down right away. Satisfied, Kiel opened the oven door and pulled out the grilled cheese. It was completely burnt, but it seemed to smell good, which was what mattered. 

He set the tray on the counter. "And that is how you make grilled cheese! And if you're wondering, yes, this is truly the best way to make grilled cheese. There isn't another way besides this one, not one that I can think of." He smiled and gave the camera a thumbs up. "Thanks for watching, and have a fantastic day! I know watching my videos has certainly made your life better!"

The cameras turned off, and Kiel sighed in relief. Good thing the fire hadn't burned down the whole kitchen this time! It was an accomplishment for him.

"KIEL!" Charm screamed in rage, looking much angrier than she had ten minutes ago. "What were you thinking?"

He winked in response.

**Author's Note:**

> If you can’t tell this whole story was a JOKE ahdhdjdj but this was based off of an au I made on discord like what if Kiel was a chef?? but then he’s horrible at cooking?? so yeah bahaha


End file.
